How to Choose Your First Strap-On: Harness and Dildo Considerations

Quick Answer

For your first strap-on, prioritize a comfortable, adjustable harness and a dildo that matches your experience level. Start with a smaller, softer dildo and a harness with wide, padded straps for better fit and control. Consider the Love To Love Dildolls - Stargazer for a versatile, body-safe silicone option.

Choosing your first strap-on can feel overwhelming with so many harness styles and dildo options available. But it doesn't have to be complicated. The key is to focus on comfort, fit, and material safety, not on the most advanced features.

This guide breaks down what to look for in a harness and a dildo, so you can make a confident choice that works for your body and your play style. We'll cover sizing, materials, and practical tips to help you get started.

Harness Fit: The Foundation of Comfort

A good harness should feel snug but not restrictive. Look for adjustable straps at the waist and around the thighs, which allow you to customize the fit. Wide, padded straps distribute pressure more evenly and are often more comfortable for longer sessions.

Consider the type of harness: brief-style harnesses are easy to put on and feel like underwear, while strap-style harnesses offer more adjustability and a more secure hold. For beginners, a brief-style or a simple strap harness with a comfortable waistband is often the easiest to manage.

• Measure your waist and hips before buying to ensure the harness size matches your body.
• Check if the harness has an O-ring that can be swapped to fit different dildo sizes.

Dildo Size and Shape: Start Comfortable

For your first time, choose a dildo that is smaller in girth and length. A diameter of around 1.25 to 1.5 inches is a good starting point. You can always size up later. A curved design can help stimulate the G-spot or prostate, while a straight shape may be easier to insert.

The Love To Love Dildolls - Stargazer is a great example: it's made of liquid silicone for a silky feel, has a curved design for comfortable penetration, and includes a suction base for versatile use. Its moderate size makes it suitable for beginners.

• Start with a length of 5-6 inches and a girth that feels comfortable with your fingers.
• Look for a flared base to ensure safety, especially if you plan to use it anally.

Material Matters: Safety and Sensation

The material of the dildo affects both safety and sensation. Silicone is non-porous, body-safe, and easy to clean, making it the best choice for most people. It can be used with water-based lube. Other materials like TPE or TPR are softer but more porous, so they require more careful cleaning and may not be compatible with all lubes.

When you choose a dildo, check the material and always use a compatible lubricant. Silicone toys should be paired with water-based lube, as silicone lube can degrade the toy. The Aneros Maximus Trident, while a prostate massager rather than a strap-on dildo, highlights the importance of body-safe silicone in intimate products.

• Silicone is the gold standard for body-safe toys.
• Always check lube compatibility: water-based lube is safe with all toys.

Your Decision Rules for a First Strap-On

• Harness Style: Choose a brief-style harness for easy wear or a strap-style for adjustability. Beginners often prefer briefs for simplicity. Pick what feels most intuitive to put on.
• Dildo Size: Start with a smaller girth (1.25-1.5 inches) and a length of 5-6 inches. You can always size up later. Comfort beats size for your first time.
• Material & Lube: Opt for 100% silicone dildos and use water-based lube to keep the toy safe and easy to clean. Silicone is the safest bet for beginners.

Products to Consider

• Love To Love Dildolls - Stargazer: Entirely made of liquid silicone, Dildolls range offers an extra silky feel and comfortable penetration thanks to its curved design. Very versatile thanks to its suction base, vaginal and/or anal aficionados will find their... This dildo is a great first choice because its silicone material is body-safe and easy to clean, while the curved design and suction base make it versatile for solo or strap-on play.
• Aneros Maximus Trident: The Aneros Maximus Trident Prostate Massager is for men who prefer the sensation of more size in the anal cavity during prostate stimulation. Angled head massages the prostate, new Trident arms for better movement, perineum tab for external prostate... While not a strap-on dildo, this product illustrates the importance of body-safe materials and ergonomic design in intimate toys, which is just as crucial when selecting a dildo for your harness.

Who Should Choose What

Best for

• Beginners who want a simple, comfortable harness and a moderate silicone dildo.
• People who value body-safe materials and easy cleaning for their first toy.

Not for

• Experienced users who prefer larger sizes or advanced features like remote control or vibration.
• Those who need a harness with a specific O-ring size for very thick dildos.

Choosing your first strap-on is about finding what feels good for you. Start with a comfortable harness and a body-safe silicone dildo in a moderate size. With the right fit and materials, you'll be ready to explore confidently.